What is counselling about?
There are many myths about what counselling is about – images of bearded old men, clients lying on couches, patients in straight jackets in asylums.
Some people believe that counselling is only for "crazy people" or people who do not have the strength of character to be able to handle their own lives. That you only seek professional help
when problems get totally out of hand or that counselling is a fashionable activity for people who are way too occupied with themselves.
Counselling is not a place that people go to find out if they are crazy, but more a place where they get support when the rest of the world seems to have gone crazy. It is not a crutch for
weak people. In deciding to face their challenges directly rather than run away from them, people who seek help to do so, can only be described as strong.
Counselling is not only for challenges that can be regarded as “major problems” and dismissing things some may regard as “less important problems”. It is for the issues that get in the way of living life with satisfaction. Counselling simply helps show those who come to counselling that they possess the strength and abilities to manage their challenges.
Counselling is not an activity for self-absorbed people. In fact, most people who seek counselling are struggling because they are very sensitive to the feelings and experiences of others and want to preserve their relationships by working on the difficulties that threaten them.
The counsellor’s job is to hold up a mirror, so to speak, for the client to see himself or herself in. In addition to knowing what angles to hold the mirror from, he understands that sometimes it takes a while for people to see what they need, especially if there are more subtle things that they would rather not see. Finally, because most people tend to be hard on themselves, the counsellor holds the mirror in such a way that the client can see himself or herself from a caring, supportive, and sympathetic perspective.
Counselling is a way of enabling choice or change and of reducing confusion. It does not involve giving advice or directing a client to take a particular course of action. Counsellors do not judge or exploit their clients in any way.
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.- James Gordon
Life events and pressures can affect our relationships with others, and sometimes, couples find it hard to speak to each other about their feelings and expectations. Speaking to a counsellor can offer a different perspective to the problem and can often help resume communication and give a better understanding of the underlying issues.
Relationship and marital difficulties can include:
Issues involving in-laws
Issues relating to separation and divorce
Redundancy and other work related stresses
Life changes: getting married or cohabiting, new baby, leaving home, retirement
Some of the things people have achieved through relationship counselling include:
A more stable family life
Better sexual relationship
Increased self confidence
Greater awareness of your partner’s and your own needs
New tools, new skills and new strategies for relating and dealing with others
Whether you are in a relationship or single, lesbian, gay, heterosexual or bi-sexual, I can offer a safe and confidential setting in which we can explore and discuss your concerns.
If you choose to end your relationship, I can help you through that difficult and painful time and help you to re-build your lives.
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. - Dave Meurer, "Daze of